jeopardy

I am home and watching Jeopardy. There is a contestant who is one of those really calm, relaxed, together-seeming people. She also has a voice that's light and sort of scratchy, like maybe she smoked a lot in her youth and has learned from her wild days and now has things figured out. I imagine she has a library and maybe a small cocker spaniel. I want her to be my aunt. I also want to be one of those sorts of warm, comforting, calm people someday, but I think it's against my nature to be so mellow.

There's also a girl who is really great at the game but always picks 1600 to start each category in Double Jeopardy. She's really young and bright but seems kind of manic when she chooses 1600 each time. (She just won.)

I should try to learn more about psychoanalysis. I didn't know the question to a really simple answer.

(These photos are from Grinnell. Downtown and somebody's cigarette sculpture outside Bucksbaum.)

end of the year

It's very strange to end a year in May. Spring means beginnings, right?

These are images of things that I am done with formally but that are supposed to impact the way I think forever. That sounds much more grandiose than I meant, but in some ways learning things in an institution is all about being grandiose, right? Building foundations and making connections and living life after that in a way that is changed and impacted, even if subconsciously. I like to imagine the things I learned this year are messy little forts scattered all over in my brain. Some of them are strung together, connected with dental floss or licorice or crown braids or rope.

(Wax, cast from plaster molds of a clay shape)









(Wafer cookies)

I've realized lately that most of what I write here doesn't make sense to anyone not in my head. I think that's ok. I think that maybe I might be at least conveying something that creates an impression of what I mean. I'm pretty ok with that.