end of summer blues

Do you ever feel nostalgic for something that you never really had? I watched "Lackawanna Blues" tonight (which I recommend, by the way), and I felt this strange longing for the times of the 40s and 50s. Not simply clothing, but lifestyles...jars of lemonade and sitting on the front porch and leaving the door unlocked all the time and dancing--really dancing!--and the blues, of course. I think part of why I'm so in love with secondhand, vintage clothing and housewares is that I have this silly nostalgia for times that seem so much better (in some ways) in my eyes.

For a long time I had been looking at the jewelry counters in department stores, searching for a pretty little locket. I rarely found any, and if I did they were meant to be extremely childish (and thus had little chains) or they were exceptionally gaudy or cheap or super expensive or just not quite what I imagine when I think of a locket. About a month ago I got lucky, though, and I bought a beautiful old locket at a thrift store. Once I brought it home I peeked in it and saw a picture of a man that seems to be some lovely old woman's husband. He's wearing thick rimmed glasses and a veteran's hat in this little black and white photograph, and he's not exactly a young fellow. In my mind I imagine this woman has been married to this man for years and has changed the picture in her locket as they've grown older together. Something about someone keeping someone with them always, in a locket near their heart, is just so wonderful and appealing to me. Of course, my made up story is just that--completely made up. Who knows who really wore that locket, what their life was like, how they really felt? Even so, maybe I'll take out that picture and tuck it away somewhere safe, and maybe put in a photo of my home, or something I feel is sacred enough to keep near always. I can pretend that is how the world is now, still. Maybe I'll even style my hair into a bouffant and wear an apron all day long. Because, though I know it didn't really belong to me, the feel of such a time feels special and real and true.